Interference
President Joe Biden delivered unfortunate news this week. His uncle who was shot down in the Pacific Theater in WWII was probably eaten by cannibals. Why he chose this point in history to reveal this is unknown. Perhaps it was to gain favor with the growing population in the US who identify as cannibals? Fine, young ones at that. However, that was not the most outrageous news that came out this week. The election influencing, hush-money bribery, financial business records fraud case of former President Trump is the main latest obsession. Did you know this is the first time a former president has been criminally charged?
At the heart of the case is Trump wrote personal checks in 2017 to his lawyer labeled legal expense. Seems good so far. The State claims these were to pay off a porn star to keep quiet about the 2016 election. He wrote the checks in 2017. To influence the 2016 election. And this personal check is a business fraud because he wrote a time traveling check that had the ability to influence things in the past. But that’s just a minor issue with a small fine. Since he was influencing the 2016 campaign, he actually broke Federal law but was never charged with that. But still his personal checks are business expenses, but it’s now a felony even though he has not been charged with an underlying crime. Did you know this is the first time a former president has been criminally charged?
This is the least of Trump's campaign violations and attempted election influence according to Dr. I.C. de’Obvious a professor of clinical observation at the firm DeNile & de’Obvious who said in an interview with NPR’s top rated show Only Worldview Confirming Things Considered said: “Hush money payments aside, we can’t believe that he would try to influence an election by doing things like holding a campaign rally or running a commercial that people watch. It’s the height of audacity to assume that you can flagrantly influence an election by speaking to the public and delivering a message that resonates with them. What’s worse, he can rely on his own money and is not beholden to dark money donors who really know what’s best for the American people. And that is to server as a source of income so we can have more dark money to influence leaders even more.”
When asked what he thought the solution to the Trump problem was de’Obvious was quick to answer: “Oh, that’s simple. We must stop Trump. It’s too risky to leave this up to the voting public. We tried to take him off the ballot completely but we were stopped by the authoritarian Supreme Court. Now if we throw enough charges at him, surly something will stick? And who would vote for someone who is a convicted felon? Did you know this is the first time a former president has been criminally charged? He’s outside the system and potentially could make small changes that will increase the quality of life in America at the expense of corporate interests!”
Indeed, Trump must be stopped by all means necessary. It’s what Uncle Boisy, Biden’s cannibal’s lunch relative would have wanted. I’m sure Joe has a story of Uncle Boisy showing up, bite marks on his person, with Charles de Gaulle and Maximilien Robespierre requesting that his nephew, who is cogent and not compromised, win the 2024 election. I can’t believe a former president has been criminally charged.