Proxy Protests
Protests in support of the Palestinian people and in opposition to Israel’s continuing response to the attacks of October 7th have broken out at several colleges and universities across the country. In some cases, the protesters have occupied buildings and vandalized school facilities, however despite the lawlessness and violence, these protests are mostly peaceful. Counter protests in support of Israel have also broken out on these same campuses adding to the growing tensions and sometimes instigating violent clashes between these two groups. At the heart of the issue is that one side is justified and claims God is on their side and the other side is justified and claims God is also on their side.
One confused college student at Missouri Agricultural Graduate Academy (MAGA) said “It’s obvious that these protestors are well organized and are a cat's paw for a foreign power. Some of these people aren't even students, others aren’t even people, just animals. Who would support doing this to other humans? They’re not like us, we have the moral high ground and the right to exist.”
Another confused college student at the International School of Industry and Science (ISIS) said “It’s obvious that these protestors are well organized and are a cat’s paw for foreign power. Some of these people aren't even students, others aren’t even people, just animals. Who would support doing this to other humans? They’re not like us, we have the moral high ground and the right to exist.”
Jack Cass, the associated director at the Fair Journalism Bureau (FJB), the federal agency that regulates approved speech, said during his daily appearance on NPR’s top rated show Only Worldview Confirming Things Considered “We at the FJB are concerned that the organized professional activists and students who are causing chaos and disrupting classes and other university functions at several campuses across the country are being blamed for causing chaos and disrupting classes and other university functions at several campuses across the country by unscrupulous journalists who are reporting the truth that the professional activists and students are causing chaos and disrupting classes and other university functions at several campuses across the country.” But no one listens to that show so, what’s the point?
Mr. Cass went on to say, “They are protesting peacefully and nonviolently. Violence against property is not violence at all. And that’s all they’re doing is destroying stuff like buildings, libraries full of books, and the non-human animals that perpetrated the things that they are protesting. We can’t have the free flow of ideas if we don't agree with the ideas that are free flowing. That’s just counter to everything we stand for at the FJB!”
These protests mirror the global political stage, where proxy wars have the potential to boil over into a worldwide conflict known as World War III or World War IV depending on who you ask. These proxy wars include the US v. Russia via Ukraine, the US v. Iran via Israel, or the US v. the citizens of the US via the three branches of the US Government.